How to Sunday

Sleep late. As late as you possibly can.

Try not to stress out. Don't think about Monday. Make yourself a cup of tea. Pour it into that mug that has a polka dot pattern. Nothing can go wrong when you have tea from a mug with polka dots. Don't think of yesterday.

Ignore the fact that your ears are blocked and you can't really hear anything. Most of all, ignore the memory of what actually caused your ears to block.

Don't look in the mirror. Or if you accidentally do, don't be too harsh on yourself. Yes - you cried on the metro last night. People were staring. You were pathetic. It's okay, everyone has their embarrassing moments in public transportation.

Put on your biggest and most comfortable hoodie. Don't wear a bra. Remember low lighting. Sundays are not meant for bright lights or thoughts.

If you were smart yesterday, you will have some crappy series or movies already downloaded by now. If you were not smart you will have to do that now. If you're too distracted to watch anything, grab a book. Any book - it doesn't matter. You won't remember any of it later anyway.

Settle yourself on the sofa like a hen that's ready to hatch its eggs. Sit still. Don't think. Calm down.

Fall asleep.

Jolly good fellas

My life has been a bit of a struggle for the past few months. It's these times when you really realize who are your friends; and how much you truly appreciate them.

When I was still in school I used to be a loner, to say the least. I was horribly shy and socially incompetent, I got distressed over the smallest of things, and was unable to interact with people without becoming nervous. Thus, I had very few friends. I wanted to be something else - something like the popular kids were: talkative, super social, easily approachable. But something was stopping me from being myself, some strange inner force held me still and I was trapped in my introverted personality.

Around the age of 19 things finally started to change for me. I was crawling out of the trap of shyness, slowly, but still. It was amazing to realize people could actually like me. I started making friends, opening up bit by bit, and not feeling ashamed of myself so much anymore. People who knew me in high school probably wouldn't recognize me as the same person nowadays.

Making new friends is never easy. It's an odd ritual that takes weeks, sometimes months to get to that friend level with others. You're constantly - even if maybe subconsciously - testing the other person, validating them, even judging them over the smallest things. Some people you like instantly, but then they say one stupid thing and you think they're complete jerks. This, of course, is probably an overstatement most of the times, but you tend to be so critical that you lose interest immediately. It's a way longer process than starting dating with someone, which in a way is strange, as a relationship is considered to be a more serious thing than "just friendship." Even more, it seems that when we are making friends, we're really looking for those partners that stay with us throughout our whole lives. When you start dating someone it can happen in just a week - but when you're making friends, you have to have at least several months before you are allowed to call them friends. Funny, isn't it? You can easily tell others that you're seeing a person after just several days - but you'd be considered a dependent weirdo if you called someone your friend after just meeting them.

In just one year I've had the privilege of meeting a lot of new people, and many of them I can really call my friends now. Not all of them made it to the friend level - we just didn't work out so well. With some people it's hard to tell what defined the result. They can be totally nice, humorous and smart, and yet you just never befriended them. As for others, it can start as dislike and annoyance even, but it builds up to be a tight friendship. I know what things I appreciate in my friends, and even though my friends are all drastically different they all hold the same traits.

I couldn't be more glad about the people I have in my life right now. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve them at all - have I been such a good friend to them in return? I hope so. Even more than in a relationship you stick to your friends and seek for their help and guidance. You can show your most horrible sides without worrying whether they will dump you or think that you're a total moron. It's a steady love story - surely there can be ups and downs, but you don't start doubting that things will end one day. You got them, and they won't leave you, no matter what the distance is. "Friends forever" was a silly phrase used in elementary school, but I sure hope I can still use it today.

Thanks to my friends, I manage to keep my head between my shoulders and my feet on the ground even when things get tough. My only wish is that I can one day be such a good friend to you. I love you, peeps.