Quietly

I calculated that I slept nearly 24 hours during the past weekend. That's one full day. Quite a lot, now that I think of it - but I really needed it. I didn't do anything purposeful for 2 days, safe for cleaning up and doing some laundry. And spending some quality time with my equally busy (and a bit stressed) friends.

My mindset is a bit more mellow now that I managed to reboot my brain. The good news is also that I will have this Friday off - so only 4 days of agony this week. And it will most likely become agony again, as we're receiving 2 new agents at the same time, perhaps on Wednesday. Obviously I have very little idea how to plan their training - I'm still in the learning process myself. Brain explosion is looming near again. I'll try to enjoy the mild serenity while it lasts.

Some unspoken restlessness is still present though. A sense of urgency but I can't figure out what it is. There's just no oblivion out there for me, is there? No sweet ignorance, no euphoric happiness. Did I ever even have that? I don't think so. Probably I'm just more aware of harsh realities of life nowadays.

Growing old really sucks ass.